Uncle Bela's Juggernaut

 "Yeah, I do like
   scary movies,
  especially the ones
   that don't take
   themselves too
     seriously."
 
   - Anna Faris

 
Updated:  Saturday, August 29th, 2009

  

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juggernaut
 
Function: Noun.
Etymology: Hindi, 1841;
     "lord of the world".
Description: A massive,
     inexorable force.
 
 
 
 

MONSTERS AND MOOD RINGS
 
Well, I've been doing this page for
almost two years now and, by and
large, it's been a lot of fun. One of
the main reasons I enjoy doing it is
to share my enjoyment for SF and
horror movies that are both good
and not very good at all; I hope
you folks get a smile out of it too.
My inspiration for this update was
from a reader who said simply:
"Bring on the scare, man!" So, to
oblige her and you---in my own
little way---I offer a group of films
from a period that was abundant
with cinematic limburger. Yes,
friends, it's the '70's again.
 
Once upon a time there was a
movie about a killer shark, and
it made a lot of money. A lot.
And as the Tinseltown adage
goes, "if something succeeds,
beat it into the ground." Here are
two carbon copies that have a
crackpot charm of their own.
First: the most imitative of them
all, but with a great 'B squad'
cast, beautiful scenery (shot in
Georgia) and a wonderfully
goofy theme, featured here along
with a standard hype-laden trailer.
Equally fun---and farther down the
rip-off ladder---is this loony yarn
about a desert town terrorized by
custom Lincoln Mark III possessed
by The Devil. (Well, of course it is.)
The dialogue is weak and most of
the acting is atrocious (especially
the female lead...unbelievable), but
the title vehicle looks cool and has
a memorable horn that sounds like an
evil laugh ("Ha! Ha-ha-haaaa!!")
Leonard Rosenman's score is better
than the movie deserves, but the
flick's still funny in its 'bad/good' way.
Enjoy, and thanks for tuning in. :D

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Sometimes You Get The Bear...

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Evil Has A 460 Cubic Inch V-8

 
I like...

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A-1 ON THE JUKEBOX!

A-1

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As part of this week's
extravaganza of
filmic fromage, I bring
you a rare goodie: to
challenge the viewer
even more than it
already would, the
entire movie is shown
in "Duo-Vision" (that's
split-screen to you);
the lovely Tiffany
Bolling stars as a
singer stalked by a
masked psycho in a
tongue-in-cheek
drive-in potboiler.
As you can tell by
Miss B's sultry yet
silly lounge tune,
this flick is so '70's
it makes your hair
hurt. Groove on it.
And from the same
demented decade,
an all-star cast of
Hollywood pros
slumming in a
half-baked horror
tale that's funnier
than any sitcom
from the era. And
what's with the
screwy syntax of
that tagline?? ;)
 

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Theme Song Theme Song

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Corbis Rocks

BELA-VISION!!
 
The theme:
From 1976...
the show was
pretty painful
and the song is
Charles Fox's
facetious ode
to feminism,
but Lynda Carter
makes for a
truly stunning
heroine, I'll give you
that for free.
 
And the commercial?
Hey, if this ain't '70's,
I don't know
what is!!
 
:)

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Theme Du Jour

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A Word From Our Sponsor

Contact me by E-mail at:
 
 

unclebela62@aol.com

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